Girl stuff

[SniperducK]

ill talk to you later sv, no time now new job gg porter at car dealership:(

[The Senate]

So she's been lying about talking to and hanging out with this dude Alex. Got drunk with him and sucked his dick. Used to be more emotional/passionate/whatever with you but now barely kisses you... And you both are still 'deeply in love'? I'm not buyin' it. I've seen people in that same exact situation a million times before and it always comes to an end.

Your relationship will NEVER be the same no matter how bad you want it to be. The truth is that she's done things that destroy the trust a relationship needs to succeed. You can tell yourself you trust her but your inner common sense won't. Especially if this happened recently! People's hearts & feelings take a lot longer to heal than simply the time it takes to say 'my bad, I won't do it again!'

Another troubling thing is that you said you won't be able to handle breaking up with her because she's perfect. Wtf?! So a girl that lies & cheats is your idea of perfect? Sorry to break it to you bro but you are severely pussy-whipped and not in a good way! Being drunk is NEVER an excuse to cheat. I know plenty of chicks who get completely drunk and still don't cheat on their boyfriends. Also, girls don't like clingy dudes. No girl likes to hear 'I can't live without you' or any of that nonsense! Girls like dudes who have backbone and wear the pants. Unless of course they just want to walk all over you and take advantage of your fragile state of emotion.

One of my best friends went thru the same thing. His relationship lasted on and off for about 8 years. He finally ended it completely and doesn't talk to her anymore. He's not happy about looking like a fool for 8 years and couldn't possibly regret it any more than he does.

Sorry man but, it's all bad. You were fine before her, you'll be fine after her. I do hope it works out for you though, and you don't get chewed up & spit out in the process!

[Underdog]

Ahh, the forums are live with topics of girls, girls, and more girls... the sultry sirens deemed impossible to understand....

Stephen, I know what you mean, for the most part at least. I get really jealous whenever my girlfriend (well, more girlfriends of the past rather than the one i have now, but I still get jealous) would talk to other guys a lot or even hang out with them. Soooo many times in the past I could tell a guy liked my girl, and would keep calling her and talking to her, trying to get her to do stuff with them, and I would TRY to get her to understand that he liked her, but they'd all say the same thing: "That's rediculous, he knows I have a boyfriend, why would he like me??" Girls are so very, very obtuse. And then you also have the accusations of you not trusting them, blah blah blah. But now that I have said all that, and haven't really made one single point, let me try to make some sense...

So you're 17... ok first obvious point is that proposing to her was definitely a mistake. Trust me, you really want to wait to get married until (in my opinion) after college. However, I'm sure you'd survive a marriage if you got married while still in college. You have a lot of time you really need to use to be single -- to just talk to a lot of different girls, don't be afraid to flirt with them, but don't go around and have sex with every girl you meet either... I'd say no to have sex at all. But if you really want this girl back, the main thing you need is time. There's no magical phrase you can say to her or anything like that that will make her realize her (not trying to insult) stupidity. She really just needs time to realize you've always been there for her (assuming you have been), and the sacrifice you're making by staying committed to her. HOWEVER, this is not a guarantee, she could very well, after time, move on to another guy, or guy after guy, and more or less leave you in the dust. I say this because some girls simply just don't learn. My core advise here is just to date around (again not for physical intentions), hang out with different girls, get to know them, etc... just really find out what you want in a girl.

Like I said, though, if you really want Heather, you've just got to buckle down and be really, really patient. I can tell you're a good guy, I mean you took the blow of her messing up when she got drunk. If that happened to my girlfriend, I really don't know what I'd do, but it seems that you handled it really well. You've got some good potential, so make sure you don't waste it on something that you'll never really have.

Oh, I just thought of something else. One concern I have is just that fact that you guys are "just friends" but you still kiss (even if it's just briefly). My advice on this: change it. I'd tell her that you either want a relationship (bf/gf) back, or if you're going to just be friends, you gotta stop kissing. That is just throwing you around, cuz you really don't know what she wants, and she just keeps giving mixed responses. If you keep this up (friends with benefits-type thing), I'm almost certain that it won't work out in the end. I'm not really sure how to explain that, but just trust me on that... I've been through a lot.

I think that's all I've got for now, if you have any more questions, feel free to ask, like I said in the other thread, feel free to e-mail me too if you want at ldithrich@gmail.com ... I'm always willing to help out and give advice if you think it'll help. Shoot, I could write a book on all this. I really do have a lot more I could say about your situation or about how to act around girls in general, but that would take up a lot of time and a lot of paragraphs.

I'm out for now. PeAcE

edit: sadly, also what Senate said is very true as well... he's a lot more straight forward than I am.

2nd edit: "Also, girls don't like clingy dudes. No girl likes to hear 'I can't live without you' or any of that nonsense! Girls like dudes who have backbone and wear the pants. Unless of course they just want to walk all over you and take advantage of your fragile state of emotion." as Senate said... this is somewhat true, but let me add an asterisk in there... you shouldn't be overdominating on them though. Girls do like nice guys, cuz they're "sweet". Girls just like emotionally sound guys, when you say "I can't live without you" it shows instability... and that's not good. Guys are there for girls to be protected by, and therefore girls should be able to fall back on a guy. Don't get this confused with emotionlessness though, girls like guys to have emotion, but not over-emotional so that they're unstable... I know, girls are odd and don't make sense a lot of the time... but this is true.

[Biggs]

The Senate,May 17 2005, 10:25 PM Wrote:Your relationship will NEVER be the same no matter how bad you want it to be. The truth is that she's done things that destroy the trust a relationship needs to succeed. You can tell yourself you trust her but your inner common sense won't. Especially if this happened recently! People's hearts & feelings take a lot longer to heal than simply the time it takes to say 'my bad, I won't do it again!'

Senate speaks to truth in his whole post, but I'd like to say something about this certain bolded phrase. It is very well true, you always remember the bad things better than the good things. And it really hurt my relationship once, and it's how I got jealous, and just overreacted to most situations. There's no hope once you get this feeling, you can't ignore it if you really do "love" her, and you can't live with it because it holds you back. As long as you stay true and never get the feeling of destroying trust, you will be fine.

"Friendship can take years to build, but only seconds to destroy."

Something like that quote I can't do the excact. But I like to add, "Once it has been destroyed once, it can never be rebuilt as strong."

[TheCheat]

Friendship should be replaced with trust for the original phrase. Friendship can take seconds to build; trust is much harder.

[Biggs]

I forgot the phrase, trust does sound better.<_<

[Plot]

friendship can be built as fast as it takes you to pull out a $20 bill from your wallet

[Yadntnojack]

a twenty will only get you a half hour with a puerto rican whore plot, id kick it up to a 40

[Plot]

no you're wrong $20 gets you a whore from the backstreets of thailand;)

$40 gets.. hmm lets see OMFG THREESOME!!!@@!#1

$60 might get you a friend... plus $12.99 a month

[Cowboy Killing Milkman]

Sveach,May 17 2005, 05:36 AM Wrote:Well, its 12:30 on Graduation night, i graduated, Jess is out at Project Grad, he won't be back from that for another 5-6 hours. So i thought I'd tell you all my story about me and my gf (not my gf atm, story to be explained). Just figured i'd give you all something to talk about, reflect on, etc. And it's 12:30 and ive got a couple cans of Dr. Pepper to go through(best soda ever).

Heather(real name) and I started dating on March 1st. We dated for a month, things are going great, etc. Sometime during that month, in a spur of the moment thing, I proposed to her, a kinda fucked up proposal, no ring or anything. She said yes, things are happy, etc etc. A week later she freaks out because we've only been dating for a few weeks. I say that's fine, I know what you mean. So we're gf/bf. Sometime after that, don't remember the day, but it was the day that Sin City debuted, I get a text message from her, and walk out of the last half hour of Sin City to txt msg her.

Let me sidetrack a little here. At this point she was talking to another guy named Alex. She was still talking to him while we were dating, but not really doing anything. Alex kept calling her and wanting to do stuff with her, and I being her bf, didn't really like that. So i asked her to tell him that we were dating, etc etc. Well that night, she txt msgs me, acting all pissy because i "dont trust her", etc etc. Well after a long and weird weekend, the truth comes out that she doesn't want to date for now because she's still in love with her ex. She loves me too, or she says she does.

So we've been really good friends for awhile now, I'm waiting for her to get over her ex, and stop loving him, so we can go back to dating. Now, it's at this point that I found out she lied to me and has been hanging out with Alex a bunch. I also find out that they both got drunk and had oral sex. I got pretty pissed at her, but I forgave her since she stopped talking to Alex. I asked her to get rid of him awhile ago, i told her that he was just looking for sex, but she didn't listen to me. So anyway, thats about up to speed for us, we're just friends for now, friend's that kiss and do a lot of stuff together. A little more than regular friend's, not quite bf/gf. We're both deeply in love with each other, can't wait to be with each other. We plan on moving in together sometime during college, probably in a year or two. We've got lots of plans for this summer, and i'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, the thing that bugs me the most is that she'll kiss me, but just barely, I guess i can't expect her to do the same thing that we used to do since we're not bf/gf for the time being. But I live off emotion like that, and she's not giving it out, which is seriously breaking me down. I can't leave this girl, she's just too perfect, but I want things to be back the way they were. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm going crazy over here.


*EDIT*Holy fuckin shit that's long.... :o

hey sv if you want some more advice just give me a holla on aim... i quit weed so i'm sober most of the day... if you catch me past 10pm though... ummm... i'm drunk then... but anyways man... i'm here for you, you've been nice to me and i got bitches on my nuts so go ahead.... im me... pimp!