The diagnosis computer
|
12-01-2006, 04:54 AM
Post: #1
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor." "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks. Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you dont stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. |
|||
12-01-2006, 06:04 AM
Post: #2
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
LMAO! :lol:
Quote:<plot> DWOPPERS AND COCA BROTHERS |
|||
12-01-2006, 07:48 AM
Post: #3
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
ROFL.. ahaha gonna print that off and bring it to work cuz im a pharmacist
<-- CocaUgly! |
|||
12-01-2006, 08:38 AM
Post: #4
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
Rofl!
I love your jokes :D WroawGF// |
|||
12-01-2006, 11:33 AM
Post: #5
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
ahahaha nice one
[19:07:16] <coca> lolbeans [19:07:39] <coca> i planted some lolbeans and grew a lollertree [21:13:27] <Dwoppers> WATZ WIF THE POEM OR W/E [21:13:34] <Dwoppers> lol, bet its gnona be all gay andp ink and stuff [21:13:39] <plot> like your room> [21:13:42] <coca> ur face is gay and pink [21:13:55] <coca> little cockmagician [21:14:33] <coca> a good cockmagician never chokes on the same dick twice [15:48] <SirTiger> Groovy-oh [23:52] <}8]> dwop made two aim's and cybered himself [21:57] <Doomz`lap> My parents liekep drinking me margriats [21:57] <Doomz`lap> I sear [21:57] <Doomz`lap> Theyre adryint gop pisoen me [21:57] <Doomz`lap> TRYIGNH ESPO TOIN EMSOPEN |
|||
12-01-2006, 12:37 PM
Post: #6
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
Its just one of the things other then forum camping that I do at work, while I'm fixing computers.
|
|||
12-01-2006, 11:57 PM
Post: #7
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
I LOLed.:P
[00:05] <Blix`> does your mother know you're gay? [00:05] <SirVeach> no she does not. [00:04] <Blix`> you've finally come to accept that you're gay [00:04] <SirVeach> no i have not [00:04] <SirVeach> i shall never accept it! |
|||
12-02-2006, 02:22 AM
Post: #8
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
rofl!
Sep. 20 2005, Womb-Raider: "Hobit cocktails and hobit cookies.... we just need some hobit strippers." |
|||
12-02-2006, 02:40 AM
Post: #9
|
|||
|
|||
The diagnosis computer
haha
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. |
|||
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)